October Wrap-Up

I'm sorry, I'm behind, but I want to write about October before I write about November. October was a great month. It started with el Dia del Campesino, which doesn't translate well but is basically Panama Cultural Pride Day (one of many). A campesino is someone who lives in the campo, the countryside. Panamanians have a lot of patriotism and pride in their culture. Combine that with a strong party ethic and you get some great holidays! El Dia del Campesino was all about traditional clothing, food, music, and dancing. Different grades put on different tipico dance performances. I used to hate tipico music, probably because my host family used to blast it 24/7 (not an exaggeration), but lately I've started really liking it. On el Dia del Campesino the school also set up a little stand for each of the 9 provinces of Panama and students dressed up to represent each one. I was glad to see the indigenous and minority groups represented, even if it was in a slightly stereotypical way. Of course, as I'm learning, there's a reina (queen) for everything. Queenship involves dancing/swaying to a constant tipico beat, parading around town on a float or the back of a pickup truck, waving, and throwing candy to onlookers.

I went to two really fun birthday parties in October. The first was Yisleidys' 5th birthday. The second was her grandfather Enrique's a few days later. Enrique is Eira's husband; they are the family I am closest to. I'm not sure but I think he turned 51. Birthdays here always include the same elements: arroz con pollo (a delicious chicken and rice dish that I can't get enough of), ensalada (which means salad but the only salad here is the potato and mayo kind), cake, ice cream, and a piñata. This is a birthday in a wealthier family; I've visited other kids on their birthdays and they didn't have anything different from any other day. It's really funny to see how excited Panamanians get about piñatas, no matter how old they are. Kids' piñatas have candy inside, but adults' piñatas have candy, coins, and pads inside. Yes, pads. As in female sanitary products. And grown men think it's hilarious to unwrap them, stick them on each other's backs, and see how long it takes them to notice. Maybe I'm losing my sanity a little bit, but I thought it was hilarious too. Adult birthdays also involve games with balloons. Like, how fast you can pop one with your butt. I went up against Isabela and totally won. My prize was a bar of soap.

I've discovered that I'm not as far as I thought from a popular strip of beaches on the Pacific. My favorite is called El Palmar and it's only an hour and a half away, so I can go for the day and still get home at the end of the day. It's beautiful with palm trees and black sand and it's popular with surfers. I've only gone twice but it's good to know it's there.

I had a bit of a crazy experience one night a few weeks ago. One of my 9th graders, Gabriela (is it wrong to have favorites??) invited me to a service with her church. Churches are really good ways to get to know people in the community, so I immediately said yes. What I didn't know until I got there was that they were Seventh-Day Adventist (I think that's what they're called in English). I don't know much about the different sects of Christianity, but this one was the kind in which the pastor (again, I don't know the right word, but it's "pastor" in Spanish) speaks passionately and the members of the congregation burst out with "Amen!" at random points in the middle of his sermon. I was just happy that my Spanish was having a good day and I understood everything. Especially when the pastor started asking people questions individually. He asked me, "Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God?" I mean, yikes. Talk about awkward. I just threw out an "Amen!" and he moved on. I felt bad about lying, but really, it was not the time to get into a theological debate or an explanation of Judaism. After the service we all huffed it to the river (a 30 minute walk) so the pastor could baptize a new convert. It was pitch black and I'm sure the water was freezing, but it was an awesome thing to witness. At least, it was until the pastor asked me, "Would you like to be baptized too? What's impeding you from being baptized tonight?" Yikes. Awkward again. I just kind of hid behind the women and said, "Um, not right now, but thank you," and thankfully he let it go. Despite the awkward moments, it was a great experience that made me glad that I say yes to every invitation that comes my way.

At the end of October we had el Dia del Estudiante, or Student's Day, at school. I wasn't really sure what it would entail until the day actually arrived. (It seems like most of my life here consists of not knowing much, showing up, and going with the flow.) Student's Day turned out to be really fun. One student was chosen to dress up as each teacher and taught their classes for the day. Two of my favorite colleagues, Fimia and Cristina, who are fun and crazy, dressed up as students and sat in classes, too. It was hilarious because they acted out and started fights and did all the annoying things that the students usually do. The students who taught got a reality check and a new appreciation for their teachers, that's for sure. After classes there were games which I think were solely designed to embarrass the teachers in front of the students. I missed out on the first one -- a cake-eating contest with no hands! I totally would have rocked that one! -- but I got into a vicious game of musical chairs (same as our version except you have to dance around the chairs, not just walk) and another butt-balloon popping game. I had to pop a balloon with my butt and then do whatever the little piece of paper inside said. I had to tell a joke. I was just glad I didn't get the one that said sing a song! It was one of the first times that I truly felt like part of the faculty and part of the school community. It was a great feeling. Now that I know what Student's Day is, I'll definitely dress up like a student next year and wreak some havoc!

I had been looking forward to Halloween for a really long time. It's one of my favorite holidays and also Emma's birthday so a couple of us volunteers went to Panama City to celebrate. The cities are the only places in the country where people actually celebrate Halloween. In the campo (countryside), people have really strong beliefs about brujas (witches) and duendes (goblins). People think I'm insane for living alone. They are constantly asking me, "You live alone?! Aren't you afraid of the witches?" There is also a belief in a blond-haired, blue-eyed duende that kidnaps children. Parents like to use the duende to get their kids to do something. ("If you don't behave, the duende is going to come and get you...") People are extremely serious about these beliefs, though. And they view Halloween with apprehension and fear. There is actually a proposal in the government right now to ban the celebration of Halloween due to its supposed detrimental influence on Panamanian youth.

Anyway, we heathen Americans were excited to celebrate it. We all, without even planning it together, dressed as Panamanian things. Emma made an awesome costume, a can of Balboa (one of the beers here). Jen was a Panamanian woman, which meant she wore an inappropriately tight, brightly colored shirt with rhinestones and a random English word on it. She also had cheap plastic accessories, all in the same bright orange color to match her shirt. It was dead-on Panamanian fashion. Alysa was a "Valla Ilegal" sign, which is the sign that the government posts over billboards on the highway that haven't paid (which is practically all of them). I was a diablo rojo. Diablo rojos, literally "red devils," are the public buses. I'm not quite sure how to describe them. Imagine 1950s-era American school buses after a makeover on "Pimp My Ride." Panama must have some kind of deal with inspection centers in the States; once they fail in inspection, they're shipped down here and pimped out. They are all painted differently, but there are common trends among them all. They say their destination on the windshield, though usually so illegibly that it's useless. Random American pop icons and cartoon figures are often featured, such as Bart Simpson and Sponge Bob. They always display the bus driver's preference in soccer teams, either Barcelona or Real Madrid. There is always a religious phrase or Bible quote scrawled along the bottom of the windshield, reducing the already poor visibility of the driver. There are always geometric patterns and flames. There is often an elaborate scene of something random and inexplicable, like a wizard in robes, a log cabin in the woods, or a medieval castle. The emergency door in the back always features either a religious scene, like Jesus on the cross or the Virgin Mary, or an icon from popular culture, like Shakira, Clint Eastwood, or Harry Potter. The inside of the bus always has a feather boa framing the windshield, fuzzy dice and air fresheners hanging from the rearview mirror, pom-poms decorating the gear shift, and a Panamanian flag somewhere. Another popular decoration is the driver's children's names spelled out down the two poles in the front. Since words don't really do these things justice, here are some pictures from a Google Image search:

And how I translated that into a Halloween costume:

September Wrap-Up

Sorry I haven't written in so long! September was a ridiculously busy month. I was all over the place. First, I took a quick trip to the U.S. for my cousin Leah's wedding! It was in California, so it wasn't technically a trip home, but I was so happy to see so many members of my family and to see Leah marry a guy who is as awesome as her. It was weird being back in the U.S., but since I was only there for three days I didn't really have time to go through reverse culture shock. (Though a trip to the grocery store was amazing and overwhelming.) Coming back to Panama was hard, especially leaving the hot showers behind, but it was nice to get back to my community and realize that everyone had missed me and that my Spanish hadn't deteriorated at all. In fact, on the plane home, I thought, "Why are they telling us all this safety stuff twice?" before I realized that once was in Spanish and once was in English.

I was only back in site for a few days before I had to leave again for my group's second IST (In-Service Training). You may remember we had our first one in early June. This one was longer - five days of training classes from 8am to 6pm. It was exhausting but I learned a lot and it was nice to see everyone in my group again.

IST ended on a Friday and that same day I went to the office in Panama City to participate in the Diversity Panel for the new group of trainees. During training every group has a session about diversity which consists of a couple current volunteers talking about their various “diversity factors” and what it's like to be a black/Hispanic/gay/ etc. volunteer in Panama. In my case, I talked about being Jewish, which has been difficult at times. Panama is mostly Catholic and Evangelical and the people in my community don't really know anything about Judaism. (Except that it has something to do with killing Jesus.) I also talked about being a woman here which can be really frustrating in this machismo culture! But that's a topic to write about another day. I liked meeting a new group of trainees and making them aware of some of the things they'll be facing when they get to their sites. It also made me realize how long I've been here and how far I've come since I was a trainee like them!

Since I was in the city already, a bunch of my friends and I spent the weekend there. I love Panama City and explore more and more of it every time I'm there.

After that, I was only back in site for a few more days before I left again for Regional Meeting. Every four months, all the volunteers in each region have a meeting. (My first one was in May.) Since there aren't many volunteers in my region, Panama Oeste, they group us with the region next to us, Cocle. I like Regional Meetings because we get to catch up on all the Peace Corps news and interact with volunteers from other sectors. There are about 40 volunteers in the Cocle/Panama Oeste region. (Approximately 200 in Panama in total.) The best part about Regional Meeting is that we all go to the beach afterwards and spend the night.

Group 67 Teach English Cocle/Panama Oeste family, Brady Bunch style

Finally, after Regional Meeting, it was the end of September and I was back in site for good. It has been nice to get back into my routine and catch up with everybody. I bought GRE study guides in the U.S. so I've been studying a lot and I'm planning to take the GRE when I'm home in December. I took a diagnostic test before I started studying and I only got two wrong on the verbal section... and only two RIGHT on the math section. As my mother said, “At least you know your strengths, honey.” I have a lot of math studying to do before December!

We've had lots of holidays and celebrations in October, with even more to come in November, so I'll write about all of those next time!

House Pictures

Pictures of my house!

kitchen/dining room/living room

my room! (yes, someone made me a bed with my name on it)

the extra room has become a combination of Dora's room and a reading/art room for the kids when they come over

the back of the house -- where I wash dishes and clothes

bucket bath on the left, latrine on the right

The only thing I'm missing is a hammock which I just bought but haven't hung up yet.

Sick

I don't have much to report because I've been sick with bronchitis for the past two weeks. I barely left my bed that whole time. I'm much better now, though. There's nothing that antibiotics, a stack of books, and an Indiana Jones marathon can't fix.

Someone asked me recently how my Spanish is coming along. It took me a minute to answer, because I hadn't thought about it in awhile. I guess that means it's getting better, right? If I haven't thought about it that means I haven't been struggling and feeling frustrated. There was definitely a difference between my doctor's visit last week and my doctor's visit months ago during training when I had to go for an x-ray of my wrist. "It hurts, the wrist," was pretty much all I could tell the doctor back then. "Much pain." I was much more articulate and descriptive this time around.

My dad just sent me, among other treasures, a bunch of books in Spanish, both for me and for the kids in my community. (Thanks Dad!) I decided to try to read one of the kids books first instead of jumping right in to the older books meant for me. I saw it as similar to trying on clothes-- you always start with a bigger size. I was pleasantly surprised that Charlotte's Web was really easy. Next I'll try Harry Potter, before tackling the Paulo Coelho. (Sidenote-- I'm always eager for more Spanish books!)

Four Month Visit

Last week I received my four-month visit from one of my Peace Corps bosses. They visit everyone in their fourth month in site. It was really nice to get one-on-one attention and support. We discussed a lot of things, both good and bad, and I felt incredibly supported by Peace Corps. It's easy to forget, with such independence on a daily basis, that there really is an office full of people I can call for help or support whenever I need it. It also felt good to conduct the entire visit in Spanish, compared to the awkward Spanglish conversations I had with her during training. The most important result from her visit was the reiteration of my role here -- mainly, that I'm not a Panamanian teacher, but a Peace Corps Volunteer. I shouldn't be going to every class. Instead, I should be sitting in the teachers' lounge, planning lessons and preparing activities and materials. It's a much better use of my time.

This week I've made a lot of progress with the junior high English teacher, Leiby. She spent all of her free periods actually planning with me, rather than merely taking my plans and ideas and butchering them or ignoring them completely, like she has in the past. Not only did we plan together, but she had some really great ideas. Of course, who knows how these lesson plans will translate into the actual classroom, but it's a start. I'm much happier with the job aspect of my Peace Corps life now. I'm really seeing some progress and changes, no matter how small. Of course, with every step forward, there are usually two steps back, but we'll see.

The rainy season, or "winter," is in full swing, which means most mornings it's incredibly hot until the afternoon when it starts pouring. Sometimes the storms are so strong, we lose electricity. (Though we also lose electricity when the storms aren't that strong...) Sometimes the rain is a sudden downpour, coming from nowhere and lasting only a few minutes, and other times it will be a steady heavy rain that lasts all day. For the junior high students, whose school day goes from 12:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon, the rainy season severely effects their education. Their classes are constantly interrupted by thunder or the lights going out and back on and out again. It's impossible to hear anything over the sound of the rain hitting the tin roof. (I've lost my voice trying to teach while it's raining.) The rain also effected the water supply at one point, leaving the school without water for a couple of weeks, though it recently got fixed. A five-hour school day in reality is more like three. Not to even get into the quality of the education they receive in those three hours. The rainy season lasts most of the school year. How are these kids supposed to compete on a global scale? On the bright side, my school just receieved a bunch of new desks, so at least all the students have seats now.

New Home

I don't know where to begin! I've been incredibly busy the last few weeks. The first week in June, my entire group of 40 volunteers that came in together in January had In-Service Training, or IST (as opposed to our initial 3 months of Pre-Service Training, or PST... Peace Corps is a world of annoying acronyms). It was nice to see everyone again, especially for my 24th birthday. I also learned a lot and was excited to return to site with a ton of new ideas, not to mention renewed confidence and enthusiasm.

My biggest news is that I've finally moved into my own house! The Peace Corps rule is that you spend the first 3 months in site with a host family (or a combination of host families) before you can move into your own place. My house is perfect. It's just the right amount of "roughing it." I love it. It's technically three rooms, but since it's all kind of open it's more like one big room. My friend Eira helped me furnish it, going into town with me to haggle the prices of my mattress, small fridge, and stove. Her brother Ari made my iron bedframe, surprising me by forming my name in the headboard. Other neighbors and community members helped by lending me tables, a water tank to store water, and a gas tank to cook. Eira's husband Enrique hooked up the gas tank to the stove for me. (I like to feel independent and do things for myself, but not at the risk of blowing myself up.) I have a latrine and "shower" (bucket bath) in the backyard. Water comes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for an hour or so, so when it comes I use a hose to fill up a big barrel tank with water. I use that water to drink, cook, wash the dishes, wash my clothes (by hand), and to bathe (bucket bath means throwing a bucket of water over your head). It's amazing how little water you actually need. I read somewhere that every time you flush a toilet, you use more water than the average Panamanian uses in an entire day. I certainly never run out of water in my storage tank, though it is frustrating to never know what time exactly the water will come. For example, this past week, on Monday it came at 10 in the morning, on Wednesday it must have come in the afternoon when I was at school, and on Friday it came at 4:30 in the morning. The trick is to go to sleep with the faucet in the backyard open, so when it noisily spits to life it'll wake you up. And that's when it comes at all, a problem that seems to be recurring, so I make sure to never let my tank get too low. We're lucky though, if we ever truly run out, at least we have the lake nearby to go jump in and get somewhat clean. The most exciting part of having my own house is finally being able to cook for myself! Though I do tend to do what volunteers call "strategic pasearing," where you pasear at dinnertime, knowing you'll be fed. I especially go to Eira's house because 1) I like hanging out there, 2) she's a great cook, and 3) she considers me rude if I don't eat while I'm there, no matter what the time of day.

My other exciting news is that I got a kitten! A volunteer nearby, Leah, found her in her site but was leaving to go visit the U.S. I offered to take her as long as I didn't have to give her back when Leah returned. I guessed (correctly) that I'd get attached. I named her Dora, after The Explorer, because of many similarities, mainly their bilingualism, the disproportionate size of their eyes, and their affinity for backpacks. Half the time she drives me crazy and half the time she keeps me sane.

Recently we had "English Week" at school which basically meant I was working my ass off for the weeks leading up to it. Every grade did some sort of English-related activity, ranging from a 3rd grade fashion show of occupations (farmer, teacher, lawyer, engineer, etc.) to a 9th grade rendition of Miley Cyrus. Of all the challenges I've faced in the Peace Corps, practicing Miley Cyrus over and over and over again was probably the hardest thing I've done here. I'm only half kidding.

Luckily, I've had a couple opportunities to get out of site, see some other friends, and relax a bit. One night I went to Santiago, a city about four hours away, to celebrate a fellow volunteer's 30th birthday. Another time I went to Panama City to see a friend from Zimbabwe who just happened to be here. Small world! In Panama City we discovered a New York bagel place that nearly made me cry with joy. That's going to be a welcome stop every time I go into the city.

Things are finally settling down now though and I'm settling into a nice new routine in my new home. I'll put up pictures soon!

Panamanian Spanish and Cultural Quirks

I can't believe how quickly time is passing! I've been in site for two and a half months now. We've finished the first trimester of school. I'm proud of the things that I have accomplished in that short amount of time. The primary job in every Peace Corps Volunteer's first three months in site is to integrate into the community. I feel like I am doing very well on that front. I'm lucky to be working in the school, such a central institution in the community, so that everyone has known me from day one. I'm still trying to learn all my students' names - I have almost 500! - but every time I step out my door I hear a dozen shouts of "Abigail!" or "Teacher!" My community is a lot bigger than it seemed at first. (It's about 2,700 people.) There is one particular family that I spend a lot of time with. I hang out at their house almost every day. They're really great people, very patient with my Spanish, and very social and talkative which rubs off on me and gets me talking a lot. Plus they love to feed me.

I've had good days and bad days with my Spanish. One day I'll be chatting really quickly, throwing out verbs in the past subjunctive without even realizing it, and the next day I won't be able to say really simple sentences in the simple past tense. It was frustrating for awhile but lately I've been having more and more good days and fewer bad ones. I get laughed at sometimes, like when I mix up the word for avocado (aguacate) and downpour (aguacero). "I love downpours! Downpours are my favorite!" Wait... that's not what I meant...

For some reason I also consistently mix up the words for broom (escoba) and scarf (bufanda), which aren't even alike. I get a lot of questions about what the U.S. is like and I've repeatedly told people, "It gets so cold in the winter, we wear heavy jackets and hats and brooms!" I just tell myself, if you're not willing to make a fool of yourself, you don't deserve to learn another language.

Panamanian Spanish is certainly different than what we learn at home, though. For instance, the concept of "now." The word "now" actually means "later" here. And "more now" means "even later." And "very now" means "soon." It's actually equivalent to the South African concept of "now," which is oddly comforting. (Yes, I still miss South Africa.)

But some things about this language really bother me. Like how there are five different words for machete and four different words for glasses, all of which are completely interchangeable, yet there is only one word for both crayon and colored pencil, one word for both butterfly and moth, one word for both waiting and hoping, and, worst of all, only one word for both cookie and cracker. COOKIES AND CRACKERS ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

Panamanian culture is a funny thing. I'm still trying to figure it out. For instance, directions. Never ask a Panamanian where anything is. You'll get a one word answer, "There," with a head bob in a very general direction. Occasionally you'll get "Up" as an answer instead, also with the head bob, which seems slightly more descriptive but could mean anything from "up the hill" (which hill, you'll never know), or "up the street," or it could refer to a neighboring town that's at a slightly higher elevation. Good luck.

Other than exact locations of things, Panamanians have no problem stating the truth, especially when describing people physically. They are just as likely to say "the fat woman" as they are to say "the blonde woman." Physical characteristics are simply facts. It took me awhile to get used to, but now I like it. It's the truth.

Along with this blunt honesty comes a love for stating the obvious. When you walk down the street and run into somebody, the typical greeting is a one-word question: "Walking?" If you're walking up a hill, it's "Going up?" Walking down a hill - "Going down?" If you show up at somebody's house, it's "Visiting?" When I run, I get a lot of "Running?" and "Exercising?" Um, duh.

I was really surprised to learn people's names here. Keeping in mind the pronunciation of hte letter "y," which is something of a cross between a "j" and a "d" and a "z," here are some examples of names of my students: Yorjany, Yuliecer, Yili, Yolanis, Nayelis, Ileyki, Yeiska, Maryeixis, Yanelis, Yarelis, Yanarelis, Eleuteria, Deyanira, Yaremis, Nayari, Yisleidys, Yohanis, and Yamileth. Taking attendance is hilarious, though I'm getting better. No wonder I'm having trouble learning 500 students' names.

If you know me, you probably know that I have a bit of a clumsy streak. Well, here in Panama, I have an excuse. Every time I break a dish or run into the doorway or trip over nothing or find an unexplained bruise on my body, it's not my fault. It's the witches (brujas). The brujas get the blame for everything, which is fine by me. Though I have replaced all of the things that I've broken in my host family's house (mostly dishes and bowls), while they just laugh and say "Abby, Abby, Abby..." while shaking their heads. They really are exceptional people to put up with me for three months.

New Address!

Hey everyone, the office has moved, so I have a new address if you want to send me letters or packages! Send things to:

Cuerpo de Paz
Abigail Fried
Edificio 204, 3er Piso
Calle Victor Iglesias
Ciudad del Saber, Clayton
Corregimiento de Ancon
Panama, Republica de Panama

Make sure Cuerpo de Paz is the first line and my name is the second. Also, there is an accent on the o in Ancon, the last a in Panama, and the u in Republica.

Holy Week

I don't have too much to report, but I'm fighting the urge to be lazy about this blog. I can't believe I've been in site for nearly five weeks already. I'm getting into a good routine, working at the school and spending my free time getting to know people in the community. I'm getting more and more comfortable with Spanish and I'm having fewer and fewer "bad days" with the language. I'm still far from understanding everything everyone says, but I think I'm just more optimistic about it. I'm downright chatty with the people I'm the most comfortable with, which is weird since I spent so long being quiet and only answering questions directed at me. I'm becoming good friends with Isabela, one of the English teachers that I work with. (Even though she teaches English, she doesn't speak it very well, so our conversations are in Spanish.) She's one of the few teachers that actually live in my community (the majority commute from Chorrera, the city that's 45 minutes away) and she's also my age - she's 25. We have a lot in common, get along really well, and in her I've found the only person that I can really tell anything. It's nice to have a friend here. She also helps when I don't understand somebody, she'll say it in Spanish but in a way that I'll understand.

Last weekend I went to visit my friend Emma, another Peace Corps volunteer from my group. She lives near Las Tablas, a really cute city/town on the Azuero Peninsula, about four hours from Panama City. It was great to see her and to see a part of Panama I hadn't seen before. The beach there is absurdly warm and the town is as quaint as a postcard. It was Easter weekend, which is done a little differently here. (I figured all that talk about "Holy Week" couldn't have meant Passover.) They celebrate with processions in the streets. Large floats are covered in flowers, angels, and Jesus on the cross. Crowds of people follow the floats down the streets in total silence. Emma and I watched and joined the procession for a little bit. We prefer to look at things like that as cultural experiences rather than religious ones, seeing as she's a minister's-daughter-turned-adamant-atheist and I'm Jewish. I love experiencing new cultures, even if it does entail following Jesus down the street.

The weekend was great until I tried to get home on Easter Sunday. It was just one of those days. Everyone travels to visit relatives that weekend, and my 3 hour bus ride turned into an 8 hour bus ride due to all the traffic. When I finally got home, I was going to hang out with my family like I usually do, but they were watching Passion of the Christ. Enough said there. So I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and dropped the enormous glass jug on the floor, breaking it into a million pieces and flooding the kitchen. Those kinds of days the only options are to laugh or to cry. So I laughed, cleaned up the mess, and went to bed early before I could wreak and more havoc.

Pictures of My Community

the center of town:

the lake that is an hour walk away (or ten minute bus ride, when I'm lazy):

the view when I run:

pineapple farm:

me with 4-year-old Yisleidis (my best friend) at the wedding:

the sloth that hangs out in my neighbor's backyard:

Discoveries

I've made a few discoveries in the past few weeks. For instance, one day I discovered that I could understand the lyrics to songs in Spanish. Anywhere you go in my community, there's a radio playing 24/7, and for weeks it was always just background noise to me. But all of a sudden one day the words were no longer gibberish all mushed together but actualy words that made sense to me. I have discovered that I can actually teach, and teach well. And even help Panamanian teachers improve their teaching too, which is the point of my job. I'm discoving that the more time I spend immersing myself in Spanish, the worse my English gets. Which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that I have to teach it. I actually had to look up the past participle of "drink" the other day. The former grammar snob inside me wanted to cry. Yesterday I discovered that weddings are pretty much the same no matter where in the world you are. Though the Panamanian wedding I attended yesterday was a little heavy on the Jesus stuff, but that might have just seemed like it to me because it was an Evangelical wedding and I'm used to Jewish weddings. The other day I was looking at my leg, wondering why it looked so weird. I've been running nearly every day for the past three weeks. Then it hit me that it was just becoming muscle. And that was the weirdest discovery of all.

First Week In Site

It's official, I'm a Peace Corps VOLUNTEER now, rather than just a trainee! It feels pretty good. We had a swear-in ceremony at the ambassador's house that we all got dressed up for. It was kind of funny looking around at everyone... we all looked so clean! The main rules for volunteers, from what I can tell, whittling it down from an 80-page handbook, are three: 1) don't get pregnant, 2) don't do drugs, and 3) tell Peace Corps where you go when you travel. It's nice to feel like a grown-up again. After swear-in we had a free weekend. Seven of us decided to stay at a hotel in Panama City. I really wanted to get to know the city because my site is only about two hours away. I LOVED the city and I'm glad I ended up so close! One day we took a day trip to a beautiful island nearby (Isla Taboga) and spent the day on the beach which was awesome. I've survived my first week in site. It's a lot of ups and downs but I think I can really do a lot here. I work in the school from 7:30 - 3. I work with three English teachers (two in the morning and one in the afternoon) and the point of my job is to improve their teaching methodologies. Hopefully that will actually happen. I have a lot of work to do. My community is really great and all the people in it have made me feel very welcome. Everywhere I go people invite me in and stuff me with food and are very patient with my limited Spanish. Aside from one of my chickens, who aggressively blocks my path from the shower to the house every day, everyone is really glad I'm here. The kids want extra English classes on Saturdays and the adults want night classes, so I'll be starting those in May. There's a lake about 4 or 5 miles from my site (that's a guesstimate, I actually have no idea), so most afternoons I like to run in that direction and then run/walk/crawl back. No one runs here but it's just one more weird thing the gringa does. The kids think I'm hilarious and when I do workouts in the backyard I make them count for me in English. Speaking of my backyard, it's full of fruit trees - papaya, plaintains, avocado, coconut, bananas... I forget what else. My entire community is surrounded by pineapple farms too, so I get to eat pineapple every day. Yum. Some new Spanish vocab that I've learned since I've gotten to site: scorpion, matches, dizzy, branch, noise, godmother, rocking chair, toy marble, burdened, and five different words for machete... I think that gives a pretty good picture of my site.

A Few Pictures

Sarah and I at the top of our hike in her site

the spider incident while visiting Sarah and Sean

a bunch of us just hanging out in Meteti

we learned bullerengue, a traditional dance of the Darien province, while we were in Meteti

Tech Week, Carnaval, and Site Visit

Lots of things to catch up on! First off, all 42 of us went to Meteti, a town in the Darien, the province closest to Colombia, for a week. It was called ¨tech week¨and we all got some experience working with Panamanian teachers who are required to teach English despite the fact that they don't know English themselves! (Imagine someone giving you a German textbook and telling you to teach it...) My first day teaching was probably not the WORST first day a teacher has ever had... but it was probably pretty close. I had first and second graders. I had one kid crying in the corner the entire time (it was his first day of school EVER), one girl leaving her seat to tap me on the shoulder and give me a grape every five minutes, and an incident with a cockroach that made all the girls scream and stand on their seats until I killed it. Great first day, right? I'm using the excuse that it was the first day of the school year and kids are always crazy on the first day of the year... right? The rest of the week went pretty well. Those kids might even remember the word ¨yellow.¨

The bad part about tech week was that I spent the whole week speaking English with the other volunteers, so when we got back to our training community I realized that my Spanish had deteriorated pretty rapidly. So that sucked. I have to avoid English as much as possible.

When we got back we had a four-day weekend for Carnaval. Carnaval is like Mardi Gras times 100 in some parts of the country but since we are still trainees, not sworn in as volunteers yet, we have stricter rules and we weren't allowed to go to the big crazy ones. We had a pretty good one in our training community though. It basically consisted of a cordoned off street full of music, food, and dancing while a big water truck sprayed water on everyone. Also, the scantily- but beautifully-clad queen was paraded through the streets with much fanfare. Good times.

Then we went to Farallon, a town on the coast for a conference. Each of the 42 of us had a counterpart from our schools meet us there and we spent two days talking about Peace Corps and what our roles are going to be in our schools and our communities. Except it didn't last two days because after the earthquake in Japan we had a tsunami warning and had to evacuate the coast a day early! So I got to go on my site visit a day early!

I just spent the last 5 days visiting my site where I will be living for the next two years! It is an awesome town of about 2,600 people about 2 hours by bus from Panama City. I'll be working in a school of about 500 kids from 1st through 9th grade. The 1st through 6th graders go to school from 730 am to 1230 and the 7th through 9th graders go to school from 1230 to 530pm. There are two English teachers in the morning and one in the afternoon. My job is to help the teachers improve their teaching methods and promote a sustainable English program. There is so much interest to learn English in my community, all the adults are already asking me when I'm going to start night classes for them and the kids are all already asking about extra English classes on Saturdays! I'm going to be very busy but I'm really excited that there is so much interest!

One of the rules of Peace Corps is that we have to live with a host family for the first three months in our sites before we can move into a house of our own. Most volunteers split the time between two or three families, but my family wants me for the entire three months. And there's another family who wants me too! Everyone is really really sweet. The family that I just stayed with for five days and that I'll probably end up staying with for the whole three months is a younger couple, Maria and Rogelio, with an 8 year old boy, Fernando, and a 2 year old boy, Dimos. My conditions are pretty much the same as in my training community except that I have a DOOR on my room! And there's an outdoor shower! No buckets involved! Very exciting!

I spent most of the site visit pasearing, going from house to house and introducing myself in my terrible Spanish. The most important part of my job for the first few months is to be visible and to get to know everyone in my community. I can't even count the number of houses I visited in the past five days. It's really frustrating doing everything in Spanish and being the only gringa after spending the past two months with 41 other gringos. Some people I meet tell me how glad they are that I speak so much Spanish while other people I meet tell me my Spanish sucks and that I need to learn more. It's really hard but I'm learning more and more every day. Overall I'm really happy with my decision to join the Peace Corps, even in the difficult moments, because even though it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, it's also going to be the best thing I've ever done.

I have been really bad about taking pictures, but I'll try to post a few soon!

Language Improvement, Crazy Dreams, and Emotional Rollercoasters

We had another language interview yesterday and received our results today... I moved up two levels! I was at the 4th level and now I´m at the 6th! I´m really happy. But I am finding that as my Spanish improves, my English is getting worse and worse. Sometimes I find myself searching for words and I am totally at a loss, unable to express myself in either language. It can be very frustrating.

In other news... only a week until we find out where our site placements are! I´m trying not to think about it too much, because it´s way too exciting and I can´t sleep.

Speaking of sleeping, I am loving our malaria meds. They give me amazing dreams. One night I dreamt that I was a giant who picked up one of my fellow trainees with one hand, threw him across the room, and in midair he turned into spaghetti noodles. Another night I dreamt that I was late for the GRE (GRE? What? I have no plans to take the GRE...) and when I arrived I felt like I had no pants on. So I looked down and my legs were mosquito legs. In another dream, I was taking my language interview while sitting on a horse, only to look down and see that the horse had turned into a stationary bike. That´s the only one that I can actually see some meaning. The others... who knows what they mean.

I´m certainly experiencing the ¨Peace Corps Rollercoaster¨with all of its highs and lows. One day I will be feeling like I totally understand everything that people are saying to me and the next day I won´t understand a single word. Sometimes I´ll experience all of the highs and lows within one day. In the morning I won´t understand anything, but then I´ll come home for lunch and understand every single word of my Panamom´s story about how she killed a snake that was in our latrine... kinda wish I hadn´t understood that story.

I´m also slightly worried about the level of my emotional attachment to a new telenovela that just started called Aurora. My family makes fun of me because I´m so into it. But whatever. It´s awesome. Aurora died 20 years ago, got cryogenically frozen, and is now alive and all her old drama is still there plus all this new drama too. For example, she´s pretending that she is still dead and she´s the daughter of herself, though her real daughter was raised as her sister and now thinks that she´s her aunt. And the guy Aurora was in love with is still in love with her even though he´s married to her best friend, but his son is in love with Aurora too. Awesome, right? I think so.

We have finally gotten some free time every Sunday and it has been amazing. I didn´t know what to do with myself at first, it had been so long since I had a single unstructured minute. I´ve finally started reading a book in English which probably makes my Spanish worse but I don´t care, I need the break sometimes. I´ve also been running every day which I NEVER did at home but it´s pretty much the only time I can be alone here so it´s not hard to motivate myself to go.

Thanks to everyone from home who has been calling! It´s really great to hear from you, especially when I´m riding on the ¨down¨part of the emotional rollercoaster, calls from home really cheer me up!

Volunteer Visit

For the past 4 days we all got sent to go visit current volunteers in different parts of the country. Most people were sent in pairs but I got sent alone to visit Sarah and Sean, a married couple who live in a very small community about an hour and a half away from Panama City. They came to Panama last April. The volunteer visit was very well timed - I think we all needed a day off from training. It was awesome to see exactly the life I signed up for. They have no electricity, no water, a very simple but awesome life. Sarah is an English teaching volunteer (though her program is slightly different than mine) and Sean is an environmental conservation volunteer. It is summer now so I got to see the summer camp they are holding for the kids on Friday. I also got to see a typical Panamanian teacher's style and teaching methods on Saturday because she was having biweekly Saturday classes about various topics during the summer. That was very interesting because once I get to my site I'm going to be working side by side with Panamanian teachers who might have totally different methods of teaching than we are used to in the States. On Sunday we hiked an hour up a mountain to see an amazingly beautiful view (of course I didn't bring my camera) and simultaneously to get cell phone service. It was a great few days. Training has been so hectic and busy and exhausting, it was nice to see what we actually signed up for: the life of a volunteer. There will be a lot of down time, time to relax, to read, to do whatever.

My visit to Sarah and Sean definitely included some classic Peace Corps moments. One day we got served cow stomach for lunch. I love trying weird stuff like that and ate it all but definitely wouldn't eat it again. Also, they don't have electricity, so at night we sat around with candles but it was still pretty dark. One night I went to take a drink from my mug and felt something tickle my lips. I was like, oh whatever, it's probably just a little bug. I got my headlamp and looked inside and it was a spider. Still alive. With two legs missing. Which means I probably ate them. Awesome. Also, their area had severe flooding and landslides in December, so their water hasn't been working since then. Which means I haven't showered in five days. I never thought I'd long for my usual bucket bath. I really didn't mind though. How can you complain about landslides messing up your access to water when they also completely washed away some people's homes? All Sarah and Sean have to do is walk a few minutes to a well, fill up two buckets of water, and carry them home. It reminded me of the old Peace Corps joke: An optimist looks at a glass of water and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at a glass of water and says it's half empty. A Peace Corps Volunteer looks at a glass of water and says, "Yeah, I could take a bath in that." Yesterday I got to swim in the river which was an amazing turquoise color and was really fun and was the cleanest I got. Sarah and Sean's life is exactly what I pictured when I pictured Peace Corps. It's exactly what I want for the next two years.


PS: Some awesome things to send me that I can use in my classroom: bingo, uno, twister, books in English and Spanish (they love juevos verdes con jamon), coloring books, markers.

Chickens Climb Trees... And Other Facts About My New Life

So, the other day I came home from class around 5:30 as usual. Normally my host mom has a plate of dinner waiting for me and everyone's talking and milling about the house, but this day no one was inside. I heard voices out back so I went out there and everyone was standing looking up at a tree. Deivy (pronounced like Davey), who is 12, was throwing rocks at the tree. I thought he was throwing them at the chickens in the tree... that's a pretty weird sight, right? Do chickens in the States fly from tree branch to tree branch? I thought it was pretty mean to throw rocks at chickens, but no one else seemed to think so, so I didn't say anything. It turns out that Deivy was throwing the rocks at the fruit in the tree, trying to knock it down so we could eat it. It had nothing to do with the chickens.

So in case you haven't guessed, we've moved in with our host families. And in case you also haven't guessed, there are some awkward encounters sometimes (like what we're throwing rocks at) when I don't understand the language all the time. My family is awesome though. My host mom, or Panamom, Señora Carmen, is 66. She has about four teeth so it's difficult to understand her sometimes, but she is warm and kind and ferociously protective of me. Her daughter, also named Carmen, lives in the house with her eight year old son and one year old daughter Nicole. Sister Carmen is 28, always makes sure I'm included in conversations, asks me questions... she's great. Little Nicole is adorable though hard to understand (like any one year old in English would be) and she has taken to climbing into my lap a lot. There is also Deivy, another grandson of Señora Carmen, who lives with us but his parents don't. Don't ask me to try to explain Panamanian family dynamics; it would take me years to figure it all out.

My house is a simple concrete structure with a tin roof. I have my own room though the door is just a sheet. The bathroom is a simple latrine outside a few feet away from the house and my shower is a bucket of water outside. (I'm actually liking the bucket baths. They're quite refreshing.) We have electricity but don't really use it that much except for the TV.

Right now we are trainees. We are not technically Peace Corps Volunteers until we finish 10 weeks of training and get sworn in at the end of March. Training is very intensive and I feel like my brain is about to explode by the end of every day with the amount of everything we are learning. From 8 to 12 I have Spanish class with 3 other girls who are the same level as me. (The results from the interview I previously spoke of: I got placed in the 4th level of 9 with 9 being totally fluent, so I'm at the lower end of the intermediate level.) I feel very good about where I was placed, especially since I haven't taken a Spanish class in 4 years. I am definitely appreciating my quality education though - it's amazing how much is coming back to me without me even thinking about it. In order to be sworn in as volunteers we have to be at the 5th level so I think I will be fine. We get tested again in 3 weeks and I am hoping I will be at the 5th level by then. So from 8 to 12 I have Spanish class at a house 5 minutes away from mine. Class revolves more around speaking than writing or grammar. Then I walk home for lunch. From 1 to 5 our entire group of 42 gets together for technical classes. Since we're in the Teaching English program, our technical classes involve learning about the Panamanian educational system, the Ministry of Education whom we will be working closely with, and specific ESL teaching techniques and methodologies. Starting next week I will only have 2 hours of tech class and then I will have an additional 2 hours of Spanish class in the afternoon.

I usually get home around 5:30, eat dinner, and hang out with my Panafamily. I'm slightly concerned about the level of my emotional attachment to the novelas (soap operas) that are on every night. Deivy also likes to watch The Simpsons which I love because it's really slow and basic vocabulary and I understand almost every word.

I got my first hug from Señora Carmen the other day. She was bragging to our neighbors how good of an eater I am. I keep trying to diplomatically ask for less food on my plate and explain that I don't want to get fat. But she told me that it's okay to get fat, I shouldn't look like Barbie. Thanks, Panamom.

In Panama!

I've only been in Panama for 48 hours but it feels like every minute has been jam-packed. We are staying at la Ciudad de Saber (City of Knowledge), an old American army base that is now used by various agencies and organizations for offices and temporary sleeping barracks. It is right across the street from the canal. We can see big ships gliding by.

Yesterday we spent all day in training sessions. We really hit the ground running and I'm very impressed with how well organized the Peace Corps is as an organization. Aside from all the acronyms they use. Seriously, listening to two Peace Corps people talk might be worse than listening to two doctors talk. And the fact that every male Peace Corps staff member has a beard... is that a requirement or something?

We had language interviews in the afternoon which were slightly daunting but I thought I did okay on mine - I had very low expectations for myself. The point of the interviews was just to place us in the right Spanish class. I'm not in the lowest or even the second lowest class, so I guess that's good. I've always been a visual learner and felt the need to see a word in a book or on a blackboard before I learned it but I really like the small, conversational Spanish classes here where we are forced to speak as much as possible. When I hear a word I don't know, I'll write it down phonetically and ask what it means or look it up later. It feels like a great way to learn so far; I guess we'll see how successful I am. I am finding that I understand everything that I hear, I'm just having trouble speaking and expressing myself. I think this is a normal level to be at, but I just happen to be in a group of a lot of fluent speakers. I'm also at the point where not only is my Spanish not enough, but my English is actually getting worse, so I can't express myself clearly in either language. It's really frustrating. Today I actually said "Yes of that I need also." In English.

Today we went to visit a current Peace Corps volunteer at her site about an hour and a half away. (I was really excited when I saw on the schedule that we didn't leave until 10am, but then realized that we had two hours of Spanish class first.) I was really excited to get out of the classroom and actually see Panama. It is GORGEOUS. Stupid gringos, we all got a little sunburnt, but we had a great day walking around her town and seeing all of the projects that this current volunteer (she came last year) is doing. And her house had water and electricity, which probably got our hopes up a little too high.

We move in with our host families tomorrow! We stay with a family for the next ten weeks of training in a community not too far from Panama City. After ten weeks of training, we'll be sworn in as volunteers (right now we're aspirantes, trainees) and we will move to our sites for the next two years. Right now it's time to concentrate on working really hard on our Spanish and our teaching skills! I've never slept so well at night. This is all pretty exhausting. But it's a nice exhaustion because it's from learning, learning, learning all day long.

Grounded in DC

Ah. I guess I am learning why Peace Corps emphasizes the need for flexibility and patience in their applicants. We were supposed to come to Washington D.C. on Tuesday the 11th for one day of "staging" (basically just ice breakers and logistics) and then fly to Panama on Wednesday the 12th. Thanks to the snow, our flight got cancelled. 40 people is a lot to reroute, so it took them awhile to figure it out, but I'm really impressed with the Peace Corps staff who have managed all of this chaos. They got us all on flights to Panama but unfortunately they had to split us up so 18 went this morning and the other 24 of us are going tomorrow. It was kind of weird because they did it alphabetically by last name so I should have been in the group that left today but Fried was at the end, after they Ys. Apparently I have a silent Z in my name? So now some people are jokingly calling me Zried. Gotta roll with the punches, and I didn't mind being shafted to the second group. The whole group is awesome. I don't know when else the word "awesome" is actually appropriate, but it is here. It's so fun to be in such a big group of people all my age (there are only or two older than 24, and by older than 24 I mean like 28) and we're having a blast getting to know each other. We are overwhelmingly female (only 12 boys) and all 40 of us are English Teaching volunteers. There is also a group of 40 or 50 health volunteers going to Nicaragua who have been stuck here as well, but they are also getting out of here tomorrow.

They gave us a free day in D.C. yesterday which was really nice - I hit up 3 Smithsonian museums and tried to walk around to see some of the monuments but it was really COLD. (Lesson #1: Even if you think you'll only be in D.C. for one day, bring a damn coat.) Today I guess they didn't want us to lose too much time doing the training we would be doing in Panama so we had a full day of classes about safety and security, "the role of the volunteer in development," and Spanish. I was really nervous for the Spanish classes, but they actually went really well. The first session they threw a pretty difficult short story at us to read and interpret but the second session was just talking and playing Jeopardy and fun stuff. I was surprised that I could understand everything that was being said and could follow and take notes in Spanish, though I don't have the confidence yet to speak as much as I'd like. But I'm sure that will change once I'm in Panama. It seems like most people in the group have a higher level of fluency except for two girls who are close to beginners. I like to situate myself in between a native speaker and a beginner so I can get help but feel good about myself at the same time. A good strategy, I think. I'm not too worried about being near the bottom of the spectrum, though. I'm sure once we get to Panama I'll have no choice but to increase my fluency. Sink or swim!

Time Flies

Somehow I went from "Oh my God, January is sooo far away" to "Oh my God, I leave in a week!" Where did all that time go? It's very different packing this time compared to packing for a year in Africa. For one thing, I have to actually look presentable while teaching in Panama. For another, my mother will probably be moving during my two years away, so instead of just leaving all my stuff lying around her house like I did last time, I have to actually pack it all up in some sort of organized way. I humbly bow down to the gods of The Container Store. All of my wordly possessions fit into three of their containers. Except the one drawerful that is going to Panama with me. (My mantra: Always, always, always underpack.)

I'm a mess of emotions right now and I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling. Mostly excitement. On New Year's Eve everyone went around the room and said the highlight of their year -- I know, it sounds corny, but someone just suggested it spontaneously and it was actually really cool. Person after person went and I kept thinking, What am I going to say? Quadbiking in the Namibian desert? Beating up my mugger in Kenya? Riding motorcycles in Uganda? Dancing with the Maasai on the beaches of Zanzibar? Swimming in the Nile? Riding elephants in Zimbabwe? The day we spent at Victoria Falls? The many friendships I made along the way? Finally it was my turn and without even knowing what I was going to say, my mouth opened and said, "Finally getting the mail and opening my invitation to the Peace Corps." So even though I'm a nervous and anxious and excited ball all rolled into one, I am so happy that it's finally here. I'm finally going into the Peace Corps!